The measure of belief

I am a believer. I believe in God the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. There’s more that goes along with that, but that’s first and foremost.

At times I’ve experienced doubt.

For me my moments of doubting have been when I’ve seen people who seemingly are happy and satisfied and enjoying wonderful things in life even though as far as I could see they weren’t walking that “narrow path” my faith teaches about. Call it judging on my part (I do work on that), but nevertheless with some people it’s clear as day that they’re not living a faithful life. So here I’d see myself struggling with this or that while trying hard to live a good life, to pray and go to church each and every week, to accept my crosses, etc., and yet feeling like others seemed more lighthearted and happy. So the temptation comes that maybe I’m the one who is wrong? Maybe they’re smarter than I am and there really isn’t anything more than this life here and now and I’m squandering it on playing by the rules of my faith. Not that the rules of my faith are so terribly burdensome. But let’s face it, there are definitely times we’d rather do as we want, not as we’re told. Just sayin’.

But yet it always passes. I stop to reflect. Looking back over my life I definitely see the hand of God at work…changing those I love and myself into better versions of ourselves (works in progress!!). I look at the created world around me and at nature and think of course there’s a God! I think of the special moments that I’ve felt that Presence. And I realize that outer happiness or good fortune in life is not the measure to go by. They are blessings but not the requirement for believing. There are miracles that rise above misery. They are helpful too but also not required.

I believe because I see the fruits of faith. I see the fruits of hope. I see the fruits of love. These are the signposts keeping me going on my journey.